Norfolk Hash House Harriers

Run no. 1464
Date: 8th January 2012

Venue: Angel Inn.  Larling
Hare: Count von Count

Great excitement at the first run of the year and the first run for two weeks as both Christmas Day and New Years Day Runs had been cancelled. No… the real excitement was the fact that this was no ordinary run. Count von Count had promised great things. “A good Fun Run”, “bring a full change of clothes…. You will get wet!” And….. a guided tour and tasting session of an English Whisky Distillery.

With all this excitement there had been organised “car sharing” to allow full appreciation of the whisky by as many as possible. Hashers not seen for many runs came out of the woodwork, and newcomers and guests ensured a good turnout. Even Yogi and Bobbin turned up 10 minutes early! And Chopper “flew in” from work fully “suited and booted”.

Over to the hare. Eagles, Turkeys and numerous other birds and aviaries completely confused the masses and then we were off. Turkey trot, Beagle Eagle or “Goose” stepping….. and within 100yards we were all faced with a waterlogged farm track…. And Bossy!. Well at least Count was right we would get wet! In actual fact Bossy chasing the pack through puddles did ensure that there was some serious running to get away from him.

Having soaked and dispersed the pack. Bossy and Porky, using local “bashing” expertise then preceded to explain where the trail would be going!. Wrong… this was a Count Run. Everyone now stood around with Hugo checking, (the wrong way according to the “experts”), and heading off into the distance, Under the A11 which drowned out his “On On’s”

After a while and with Hugo disappearing into the distance we all decided he might be right after all and followed him. Low and behold “flour”. A fair bit of tarmac then we found the hare marking out a last minute SCB return route, (4 miles. Is that a “short cut”?)

It was a beautiful day and Bossy had disappeared into the distance so most took the real trail off into the woods. Real Woods at that, not an old pine forest. Very nice, first class hashing terrain. Until we came to another crossroads and another choice of options. Turkey or Eagle… what the f*ck is he on about! So many choices. The hash are not renowned for making decisions at the best of times let alone disguising the options with bloody birds names.

Anyway, lucky for us Count came along to explain. Now the Turkey is the long way and the Eagle is slightly shorter but a more fun, picturesque and “interesting” way. We took the Eagle route and he was absolutely right…. But why not take all the hash that way without the option…ummm? German logic I suppose.

Nice little country track… road sign….FORD. Ah! Was this the wet bit we had been promised? We continued around the corner to see the pack heading up hill on a very “unmarked” (ie ploughed over), footpath away from the ford. That was a bit of a surprise… no ambush. Even more of a surprise was the bridge hidden in bushes at the side of the road. Result! We weren’t going to get wet after all!

Over the bridge, up the footpath and across a meadow until. Ah, ha! The bloody river… and no bridge!  Panic set in amongst the harriets. “I only have these jogging bottoms” said lucky. “ I only have these too” said Mosque’ie. Then “take them off” said the pack!. But no. Lucky proceeded to roll up the legs to gusset height. Wooly rushed to Mosque’ie’s aid and hoisted her onto his back. The rest of us waded through. Water up to bollocks. And in MILF’s case her navel…. Which we think must have slipped a bit. Then scrambled up the muddy bank.

Yeah, Count was right. We were wet and cold and muddy…. But that was only the start!... Bastard!!

We ran through more woods and alongside a large ditch. Then there was this arrow directing us over the ditch and a very precarious bridge. We all made it and once on the other side we ran back along the bank in the direction we had just come from. Mud… you gotta believe it. More woods, more mud, small ditches and reed beds. Then more mud.

Eventually we came to another river crossing with a home-made ladder bridge which had inconveniently been pulled over to the other bank…. Bastards!... Who would do that? Bastards!

This was a deep, muddy river. Hugo to the rescue. Rolling already very short shorts even shorter. (possibly even into a “weddgy” he walked deep into the river until he could only just reach the ladder. Teasingly close. But too heavy to lift and the river getting deeper. Fu*king Bastards!...  Who would do this to their fellow hashing mates?

Count disappeared about half a mile into the woods and then re-appeared running at a phenomenal rate and attempted to jump across. Into the air he went, across the river he went and landed safely in the shiggy on the other side. The rescue was complete. Count lifting and Hugo pulling the bridge was re-instated and the Hash continued.

Wet, muddy, knackered, moaning and swearing we emerged from the woods to find only the A11 separated us from the superb beer and hospitality at the On Inn. Some went over, others under, the main road and into the pub. To be greeted by a sniggering, “one-zie” dressed bossy and a concerned mass of SCB’s and Turkeys who had missed all the fun. But had heard in great detail how the trail had been sabotaged.

The Angel was an excellent On Inn. Roaring fire to warm us all up. Plenty of quality chips and a fine selection of real Ale. What a great first hash of the year!....

But it’s not all over yet…. In two hours time we all have to go and taste whisky!!

The circle:  Down Downs to…
Visitors: Tom and Little Miss Perfect: (ex Somerset Hash). Now moved to Ipswich..

Bobbin for not hashing. Sitting in the car knitting! With some feeble excuse that her toe hurt because she knocked it at home and couldn’t walk. Let alone run.

Doc: For pathetic fireworks at Riff Raff’s superb New Year’s Eve Bash

Wooley: For taking any opportunity to get young women clambering over his body and being Chivalrous at the river crossing.

Milf: For getting her fanny and navel mixed up when describing the height of the water. Then for throwing her water “down, down” over the RA. (this should have been a Hash Shit – but who is and where is the Hash Shit. Not seen for many weeks!).

Linda: Naming ceremony. Now to be known as “Commando” for telling everyone that she had got so wet at the river crossing she had to change her clothes but had no spare knickers!


We did then have to find something to do for two hours while we waited to go to the distillery, hic, hic…… All of which is another story.

A great day out. Well done Count.


Scribe:  Yogi




 

Hares: Dodo, Scooper, Howard
27/11/2011
Weather: sunny, 10.7 ºC; rather fresh breeze from WNW, gusting to 40 mph
Runners: about 15, plus two dogs, Tom and me

We are going hashing! Very excited. Looks like I might be getting a rough ride, though - Papa is loading the running buggy into the boot of the car …
Lovely autumn day. Trees have lost all their leaves. Why again? Lots of horses on the way. I want one! Mummy and Papa promised ride on a pony for my birthday. Can't wait! After all that practice on Papa's shoulders …

Hanging 'round in Gresham Village Hall car park. Hare promises the most scenic footpath of Norfolk. Oh no! Someone stop the mean big dog – too late. He has eaten my cake! Only appeased by the promise of sandwiches and chips at the pub later.

Off we go! Me in the buggy, Tom on Mummy's back. Why are we going the other way than the others? Ah, flour! On-on! Papa, don't make such a noise – stop shouting!

Going down a tarmacadamed footpath next to the road leading out of the village. What's the point of that? It's leading nowhere. And why are we stopping already? Ah, Papa is watering the botany; gives the rest of the pack time to catch up. And off we go again! Stretch of footpath, then road to Bessingham church. I want to walk! Why is Papa sending me on this false trail, though? Let's go the other way!

Religious (sic!) Adviser Bagman found a footpath across the churchyard into a tilled field! Very scenic! Views! This must be it? Or not? No, turning 'round again. Was probably just the second-most scenic footpath of Norfolk.

Into the village, bar check [or cheque?], back to footpath. Gorgeous leaf-fall! Smooth ride here under the trees or what's left of them. Floating on a cushion of anthocyanins and carotenoids. Very pretty indeed!

Emerged from the trees, heading in WNW direction. Straight into the wind, 25 mph. Glad to have Omi's knitted hat. Papa is cursing.

On-in? Already? Can this have been 5 miles? Papa says it felt like 8 – what with pushing a sail into the wind. What a wimp – it was actually just over 4 miles: http://www.gmap-pedometer.com?r=5202528.

At the pub. A very nice guy called Squits is inviting everyone for drinks on behalf of the Government's annual winter donation to the over-60s. Tom and I are trying to work out how much apple juice we have to gobble down to make up for the scrapped CTF vouchers ...
Nachos and salsa on the table and bar. Delicious sandwiches and chips and plenty of them. Decent pub! Mummy says we will be back for the Sunday roast (£7.95).

Circle: Down-down for the hare. Some digression on postolympic 1500th NHHH hashiversary.  Ongoing austerity measures required further down-downs to be shared through straws. The first threesome, Shunt, Firm But, Riff Raff, jointly sucked for following arrows; followed by No Name, John Knights and Anabolic for road "ignorance". RA then announces to be a twat and awards himself another down-down.

What a great day!  

   C U Jimmy.
 

Run no. 1459
The Kings Arms
 Fleggburgh
Hare: Lym
20/11/2011

The spell of lovely sunny Sunday mornings continued also today in Fleggburgh – for me a first time visit. Some pre-hash excitement erupted at the RV when Lucky used the same parking space, which I had tried in vain before. Our temperamental differences showed clearly in the severity of the damages to the vehicles, but it remains unclear how much had to be attributed to Bumhead's (mis)guidance (forgetting the average Hasher's slower  reaction time)....

We set off after the Hare (LYM) arrived on his bike from completing his bash trail and mumbling something about historic points en route (a leaning church tower and a derelict shed) and a very short (optional) route back to the pub.

The historically interested found the tower which appeared to have been used as gallows in its final days of use but the majority of hashers opted for the short route to the pub. After the historic bits the proper trail was very scenic - leading through woods and marshland near the banks of a broad. I shared the fate of the other front runners hearing the noise of Count's fast approaching baby carrier behind me and this on uneven bumpy terrain. At this stage, Finn did not look too pleased and told  Count that he preferred to walk. Being a good father, Count agreed with the words 'ein bischen' (a bit) because he did not want to interrupt his serious training for too long.

Back to the Kings Arms, the circle was called by Lobotomy, who welcomed a newcomer ( The Dungbettle), who said that he wants to attend whenever the Hash is east of Norwich.

Then it was the RA's turn and Bumhead did a great job by introducing austerity measures as the Norfolk H3contribution to overcome the EU's, UK's and Norfolk's economic misery: in clearly more than 50% of all down-downs the beer was REPLACED BY WATER. Hash mismanagement be warned – that might result in unrest and demonstrations. I was one of the few lucky ones joining the Hare (Lym) and Squits (honorary down-down) with the real stuff together with unlucky Lucky. I can't remember all the otherdown-downs except those wearing pink (Firm But, Hotfoot, Lucky); the reason for Mosque Flasher's D-D remains a secret to me.

After this back to the Pub, where it was finger food for a change meaning we had roasted potatoes, gravy and little sausages without knives and forks – at least I did.

On On Doc
 

Run no.1458
 

The Boars,
Spooner Row
13/11/2011

We arrived at this unused venue (as far as the Hash is concerned), and after a lot of car shuffling gathered around Lobotomy's car for the Remeberance Sunday two minute silence, on this lovely sunny morning. We met newcommer Linda, who knew Ken( Hair) and welcomed her into the Hash.

Lucky was front Hare and Mincee rear Hare, or as some say, anal hare. They started us off with a check at the pub  which had a third of the Hash finding a falsie.  We then approached a railway crossing, Mr Bossy heard a ringing noise and warned us that the crossing gates would close soon, so about seven of us got a sprint on. Looking back was a sight I hadn't seen before, the rest of the Hash held up by a train for about five minutes.

Clever use of Defra paths and footpaths made this an enjoyable run despite the moans and groans of some about the lack of flour.  Annabolic managed to lose her bum bag and started to run back to look for it only to find that Shunt had retrieved it for her.

Back to the Boars and into the "Agricultural bar" (Did Porky feel at home here ?) for drinks and chip butties served in individual laundered white linen napkins, very posh for the Hash I'd say.

Down Downs were awarded to the Hares and newcommer Linda . Then  the mystery RA, Mr Bossy downed Milf for teaching  Muslims how to swim, Yogi for bringing four coats with him, C.V.C. for arriving 2 minutes past 11, Porky, No Name and others. Let me know details if I missed anything out and I will add it in.

On and On and On , Woolly Jumper.
 

Hash Trash Notes. Run 1456
30/10/2011
From The Crown Trunch.
Hares, Hugo & Shunt.

Although the forecast was showery, as per usual NDD. A splendid run of on average 7 miles, lots of footpaths, no rain, no shiggy. Most of the motley crew managed the full run as we are all getting younger by the week, with the exception of the NC. Back to the Crown with interesting food for a change,and a good selection of beers.

On out to the circle. The GM honoured the hares for their gallant effort, then handed over to the mystery RA, no less than Riff Raff .The theme of the day was wrong way Roger. 3 hashers were DD for covering lots too many miles. 1.Woolly(new Sat Nav.?) 2. MosqueFlasher for getting lost in North Walsham. What the hell was she doing in NW, the mind boggles. 3.Gary No Name for just getting lost, easy for GNN. The GM gave a toast to absent friends.

That being all, back to the pub.

On Ron. Dodo.

 

Run no: 1455
October 23rd 2011

The day was Sunday, the place was Cawston and the Hare was Count Von Count, so for athletes only.

What a day for a run !!!, brilliant sunshine . What a great trail, some lovely views, we only managed to trespass onto private land once, well I say once it was once x 20 runners, thank god Lobotomy was there to ease the transition with the land owners, you smooth talker !!

The long run was 7 miles, the short one 5.5 miles, you can add an extra !.5 miles for falsies, take a breath. !!
Fitted some worshipping in with 2 visits to churches on route ( some 3 ).

Milf found the dogging site at the end of a falsie and hung around for DoDo ,Labotomy and Beetroot !!!!
Some cows were also interfered with on the long trail, despite Linda’s reservations on the matter.

Circle was in the lovely sunshine of the Bell pub garden.
The RA sighted Anabolic for trying to Gobble some of the hashers on trail.
DoDo was sighted twice, once for being the right height for Anabolic the other for telling a bad joke.

OnOn Beetroot

 

Run no.1454
By Mosque Flasher
Bagman’s Shortest Run Ever
October 16th 2011

We all met on this beautiful, sunny Autumnal morning for a brilliant run that led us through town and country.  All runners were successfully disoriented in the first 10 minutes by the Hare, with comedy-like running up and down a maze of alleyways before entering the woods for a Hash
View from the most incredible allotment site. 

All was innocent until Dodo found some used toilet paper, Woolly started flagellating himself with nettles to help his circulation and Hugo started seeing double!

Bagman produced a fantastic impromptu beer stop with a full array of continental beers and extensive nibbles.  It was just a shame some of the speedy runners missed it!

Naughty latecomers, Leprechaun and Flash, arrived just in time for the extensive international buffet that was provided long in to circle time…with the percussion accompaniment of Firm Butt’s less than lady like burping!  And later a 6 year old Ukulele player and singer.

Down Downs

Hare – Bagman
1100 runs – Bagpuss – unbelievable!
500 runs - Bagman
Shunt – for forgetting his list and borrowing MILF’s
MILF, Lobotomy and Porky – for missing the beer stop!
Dodo, or should I say ‘Dildo’ – for his ‘muspeling’

Football card winner:  Firm Butt

Future Events
·      Get your 1500th Anniversary tickets now – reduced rate until the new year!
·      5th November firework party at Yogis place – bring your own fireworks and light!
·      Beer festival week Thursday lunchtime get-together

                                                                        -------------------------------------------------------------



Run no. 1451
Notes for The Groat Norfolk Run 25/9/2011
This took place from The Bell at Brisley.The hares were Woolly & Bagpuss, a splendid run on a superb day was enjoyed by a very large turnout. A few lanes with falsies then lots of great footpaths.

The run was about 5 miles,returning over the biggest village green in the world.

The GM called the hares into the circle after their DD,s there was a Hash Naming,TC,s management was christened Big Bird.

Over to the mystery RA,who else but the extinct flightless bird.DDs were awarded to.

1.Mo. All the way from the land of damp sheep for not licking Tom Jones.
2.CVC. For trying to push a buggie and passenger across a ploughed field to no avail.
3.Sven. For being a unfeeling chauvinist ratfink.
4.Gary Noname. The all original Hash Scrooge.
5.Woolly.For sexing up his run and wearing a bb cap in the circle.
6.Porky.Takeing a mobilecall in the circle,he had to take his dd out of Woolly,s hat.
7.Moskie. Oh what a sad sack.
8.Twonk.Who was then Hash-Shitted, just for being himself (what better reason is there).
That being all we repaired to the pub for pints and very good sammies .

On Ron. Dodo.

 

Run no 1450
The Red Lion P.H.
Bishopbridge, Norwich
19.9.2011
Hare:Lobotomy

Lobotomy kindly set the last Monday night Hash of the year, which must have used nearly every hill in Norwich, in fact it started with Gas Hill. The first to the top found a falsie, but instead of calling" falsie", they hid around the corner until nearly all the hash had got to the top. From here we sprinted down the hill towards riverside.

We went up to Carrow Tower and the remains of the old city wall, which is where Lobotomy encountered some crack heads the day before who must have thought he was a drug barron, with his bags of white stuff (flour).

This was a run of teasing smells from various restaurants that we passed by, and pubs that we never stopped for a beer in !Tut Tut, what is the Hash coming to !

A trail also of crossing many bridges, going through two multistorey car parks and passing some interesting sites and buildings of Norwich, some of which I had not seen before.

Darkness descended quickly, but the streets were well lit so it wasn't too diffcult finding flour.

Back to the pub and about six hashers missing, would Lobotomy have to go out to search for them.
Luckily for him no.

Count was getting high as he discovered that alcohol,and the paracetomol that he had been taking  for his cold made an pleasing potion.

Down downs awarded to: The Hare, Lobotomy by Grand Mattress.

Grand Master presented Not Yeti with a pewter  mug for achieving 100 runs, his mug was then flat edged in the traditional manner .

Porky was mystery RA, and named Bethany on the approval of Tall Chap, 'Muppet'.  Mum took the down down on her behalf .

Hugo and Clan were done for their short cutting antics.

The Hashshit was brought into the circle by its current owner, but somehow remained with him (Porky)  for another week.

On On, Woolly Jumper.
 

 
Run 1449, 12 September 2011
The Bush, Old Costessey.
Hares: Leprechaun & TC, Rams

Owing to the onset of dementia I have forgotten to write the Hash Trash for the above r*n, also I can’t remember which date it was on.
(Come on now  think boy)
 
We set off….. Where did we go? Oh yes, up a narrow road, along a foot path to another road. I went the wrong way and couldn’t catch up, eventually losing the pack altogether. I had a bit of difficulty finding the flour as it was getting darker and darker. I did have torch of sorts but not much good in the dusk. Anyway I ran and walked the rest of the trail without seeing or hearing another hashing soul. It was never the less an excellent trail and will be great to do in daylight.
Don’t worry Hares nobody will remember it
.
Back at the pub I overheard a local say to Leprechaun “Wodya bring orl yor frends in hare for”. She just smiled sweetly in her leprechaunish way. She could have introduced him to TC.

Eventually all were back and we had the food and circle. I can’t remember the order. I do remember the food being very good.

THE CIRCLE.
The GM awarded down downs for the hares, then for our visitors: Trixie, Chopper’s Stepmother, Julie, Wife of TC and Emma a friend of Leprechaun’s.

The RA then solved the mystery as to why I didn’t see anybody. The b*****s went the wrong way so it was a shared down down for Porky and Clan Bear as the Lost Boys.

Then it was Leprechaun (I am struggling to spell that word). Bless her little heart she lost her mobile phone somewhere along the trail.
The last punishment went deservedly to Lucky Linda, not so lucky this time as she had locked her car keys inside her car for the umpteenth time. She is now on Christian name terms with all the RAC staff now.

So we had Lost Boys, Lost Phone and Lost Keys.

Sadly for Porky he lost the Hash Shit Vote against Lucky and retained the Hash Shit.

On On Hugo




  Run no. 1446
Lym's House,Rollesby
22nd August 2011
Hare: LYM

Following on from truly excellent Retirement Bash on Saturday, Lym very kindly hosted the official Retirement Bash Hash from his house on this sunny and warm evening.The usual suspects were there in force as well as some less usual suspect who were lured in with the promise of free beer and excellent food (if Saturday was anything to go by)
Once again Lym managed to put a worried look onto Bum Heads face when he lit the barbie with petrol and a flame thrower (though not with quite the intensity of abject fear that Bum Head displayed when Lym  lit the fire in the sitting room on Saturday evening in a similarly dramatic manner)) and then let us know that the 3 and a half mile Hash (Lym.....are you sure??) would have paths that were our friends, and also friendly arrows. There would also, cryptically, be fields of rubber, a lighthouse and greenhouses......And then the proceedings commenced with around 25  enthusiastic Hashers setting off at a variety of paces.....with Riff Raff briefly racing ahead before being overcome by the heat and settling back into a more relaxed gait.
The way was then lead by Count Von Count, and we wound our way around the footpaths and streets of Matham, scaring the locals and the holiday makers as we went. Though they weren’t as scared as we were by the enormous tractors which appeared to be tearing along the very narrow lanes threatening to take us out at every turn.
At length (3 and a half miles– again, Lym – surely not!) an arrow was discovered on a ‘friendly’ path – pointing rather randomly back the way we had come....after quite a few minutes a decision was made by a couple of the Confusion of Hash standing around to ignore said arrow, and eventually it was decided that this was not a ‘friendly’ Arrow at all.... and that a bad and naughty arrow had somehow got in on the act.
So  eventually, after a 3 and a half miles (again Lym...surely not!!!) Hash, a lighthouse  (in a garden) a rubber field (outdoor horse schooling arena and Greenhouse (no one could have missed them) we arrived back and got supping of beer and cider and a marvellous spread of food.
So to the Circle – starting with the Grand Master Lobotomy’s introduction, then a very large double Down Down for our esteemed Host for organising the evenings event and the rather marvellous afore mentioned party and  for retiring – he was also presented with a bottle of whisky to make up for the  fact that his was all used up as ‘medicine’ for Clan Bear on Saturday evening.
A few announcements and then the RA took to the floor – er –sorry – lawn.
On with the Down Downs:-
To Laurel and Hardy - Clan Bear for creating such a fuss when he nearly knocked himself out when  he broke Lym’s bench on Saturday, and to Lym for having such low awareness for Health and Safety and providing substandard furniture for his party.
To Not Yhetti – for being a Hero, and helping to break Clansfall and for studying Riff Raff’s ches...er - T-shirt
To me – for not picking up Firm But and Bum Head
Then – a christening – Andrew, now forever known as RAMS - Risk Analysis Management Systems...due to his involvement with the Healthy and Safety industry.
Clan Bear was asked to relinquish his newly beautifully adorned Hash Shit, complete with jangling balls and following a good soaking of this it was revealed that ‘new’ Hash Shit was to be introduced. One size fits all. Why did I not smell a rat at this point???
Hash Shit revealed...very attractive rubber waders, a fetching tabard  made of bathroom ‘drip mats’ complete with a suspicious brown stain in the corner,  and some glamorous glasses (who am I trying to kid) And the recipient.......
.....Leprechaun (aka Me!!!!!)
For the unforgivable sin on taking a new boyfriend ( call me contentious but not my boyfriend!) to a Hash Bash and then dancing with the hosts neighbour. Then poor Leprechaun was hosed by Shunt (for which he will never be forgiven) and Arse Head (oops – sorry – meant Bum Head – apologies tothe RA!). Ah what a great evening.......
On on with the barbie!
And that completes the Hash Trash for Run Number 1446

Leprechaun

Run no. 1445
The Black Lion, Buxton
August 15th 2011
Hare: Dodo

‘Twas a balmy pleasant evening and a slightly depleted bunch of Hashers met at the Black Lion in Buxton, due to a number of the regular hashers (was going to say ‘normal’ but realised how wrong that would be!) being away in Edinburgh.

Dodo was forthcoming with instructions that ‘ the arrows are your friend’ so with this in mind we eagerly (!?!?!) set off...
Luck  was on the side of  geographically challenged Hashers amongst us in the form of Chopper and he lead us valiantly (insider knowledge is a great thing and he lives in the area) with help checking out the falsies from Lobotomy with  the rest of us trailing along happily in their wake. 

So everyone had a lovely hash, along a pretty river bank, a little railway track, and past Buxton Mill and through some beautiful countryside and a lot of nettles – more later!

Back to the very busy pub where a darts match was earnestly in progress to partake in a bevy or two.

On to the circle, commencing as ever with Lobotomy, who got things going in his usual inimitable style with a joke,and then announce the postponement of the next committee meeting due to lack of interest.

Dodo  was thanked in the customary fashion for a lovely trail – it was generally agreed it was very enjoyable if a little nettley.

Then Bum Head stepped forward very quietly as ever toritually humiliate a number of hashers for their various misdemeanours – how on earth I got away with no down down having grumbled so eloquently about having to do the Hash Trash – only to be told this did not mean I had to collect rubbish on the way around – is beyond belief, but the recipients this week were obviously (to my relief) far more deserving.

So :-
Rosie – The Poorly One – who has injured her back under dubious circumstances which were not elaborated upon!

Lym and No Name – for being Grumpy Old Women as they didn’t listen to the instruction form Dodo beforehand and got lost and moaned about it.

Milf and Cookies – for being a Kill Joy and dissing Bum Headand Firm Butts choice of holiday destination, due to her very recent and unpleasantly ‘rapid’ experiences there last week!

And finally Porky – For Not Paying Attentions to Dodo’s instructions a fortnight ago about this evenings run been stringing nettle festooned and for wearing pretty short shorts!

Then everyone legged in back into the pub, moving faster than at any point during the rest of the evening for some very good sandwiches,chips and tomatoes (!)
On On!

Leprachaun
 

Run Number 1441
The Hevingham Fox P.H. Hevingham.
18th July 2011
Hares: Bum Head and firm But

 On a somewhat cool blustery evening we all set off from the Fox P.H. on what was originally intended to be a 6.5 mile run, but due to several downpours the day before and on the day, resulted in a shorter but just as enjoyable a trail.

Turning right out of the Pub we soon found ourselves in the open countryside, after a false trail, and then onto the archetypal flat verdant farm lands and fields of corn and manure heaps that Norfolk is famed for.

Unfortunately the rain only held off long enough for the front runners before returning with a sudden sharp downpour, which did result in some Hashers taking shelter under the nearest tree, even though they had no hair to get wet!!

So a bedraggled Hash tumbled into the Pub for a welcoming pint and the always eagerly anticipated circle with the mystery R.A. Woolly.

Bum Head and Firm But

Both  were thanked for the valiant effort against the elements in marking the trail and still giving us a good run.

Mosque Flasher

Despite giving the exact location of the venue on the website, a link to a map and the Pub being right on the road so nigh impossible to miss, some people still did! She doesn’t teach geography does she?

Lucky

When placing your car keys in a secure location prior to the run, it’s always a good idea to remember where you put them. Now let me think, how many wheels has the car got? 4 that’s right, and if I placed them under say the back wheel how man’s that? 2 that’s right! Didn’t need CSI to figures that one out!

Bagpus

Well forgetting where your car keys are is understandable to some extent, but leaving the the Hash money in the toilet! Let’s face it we’re not exactly flushed with cash! Thanks for an honest Pub. 

Just Andrew

Now as any experienced Hasher knows the marks on trail are for the purpose of finding your way and following trail, but apparently to some Hashers (only just!) seeing flour on trail is an invitation to run  miles along the path, see one blob of flour and then run excitedly back to the fold exclaiming ‘’I found one mark!’’ What about the two or three others!! Still he’s new.

And lastly Clan Bare. 
 
What can I say, what an honour, accolade, privilege, commendation, tribute, and encomium to be presented with the Hash Shit.  (Only slightly spoilt by Milf’s comments of ‘you’re not bringing that shit in the house are you?)’Pity the shorts don’t fit but far be it from me to complain, in fact I shall make sure never to make any future discordant remarks about our wonderful R.A.

Clan Bare
On On
 

Run no. 1438. 4th July 2011.The American Independance day run.
The Brickmakers at Horsford
Hares:
Milf & Clan Bare

On a fine summer evening we had a superb turnout of Hashers ( 20+) with some faces not seen for a while.
A good effort was made by some to dress for the occasion with special mention to Shunt for his home made American apparel, as for Twonk’s dress code, more later.
And so off to the woods we went, after a YBF trail opener. Well you have to drag some Hashers away from the pub, but apparently not successfully?!
A sun dappled green canopied vista stretch endlessly before us, 6.5mile according to the Count!, I suppose that’s the problem when the Hares can’t map read! Bears may not do it in the woods but as my shoes will attest to deer certainly do! After avoiding this hazard and the rifle range (I wondered what that banging noise was.) and the snakes, and the fallen trees, it was across the road and back into the woods, although we do suspect that some Hashers were SCB’s at this point! Further dense woods followed before eventually reaching the Pub for a refreshing pint and onto the circle.
After thanking the Hares the circle was enjoyed (if that’s the word?) firstly by:
Dodo. Apparently constant talking on trail strains your neck especially when trying to converse with Anabolic. I suppose that’s’ the long and short of it.
Shunt. The heinous crime of littering on trail. That’s the problem with home made clothing you soon become a falling star!
Twonk: God what can you say about those shorts! If some are called ‘budgie smugglers’ these were ‘melon smugglers ‘Still, I’m sure they’ll look good at the next Gay Pride festival!
And lastly Lephrecaun.The unfortunate occurrence of having her bike stolen from the front of the Pub despite taking what appeared to be adequate security measures. But on a high note some frantic phoning around the village by the Landlord soon got the bike returned. Our hearty thanks to him.
Now, some Hashers come for the run, but mostly for the run and a drink, but apparently some just pretend to run and then spend the night in the Pub fraternising with the locals?! Your secret is safe with us, for now!
Clan Bare

On On 

 Run 1438. At The Jolly Farmers, Ormesby. Hare LYM. 27/06/2011
 

On arriving at the pub it appeared that another brightly dressed group of people were gathering for some event or other. It turned out to be none other than a selection of Guernsey Hashers, who were holidaying on the (Norfolk) Broads, waiting for us plus one solitary soul from Worthy Winchester, who I believe was visiting her parents in sunny and extremely hot Norfolk.
We set off, following a trail marked every few feet with flour dots and arrows. I knew it couldn’t last. It didn’t and further along the r*n the flour became scarcer and scarcer so much so that many r*nners missed the beach trail. Some of those who did take the beach trail went for a swim and were joined by a couple of curious gray seals, one coming very close to Wooly. I don’t which was the most curious .The trail itself took us to Scratby, on the way we came across an area cordoned off by police blue tape heaven knows why,  California, so called as allegedly gold was once found there, and back to Ormesby and the ON INN.
A few medicinal beers were taken before the circle which was conducted by GM Lobotomy. LYM topped his down-down up to a pint and sank it in seconds as usual.
The Guernsey hashers: Sauerkraut, Captain Hogwash, Climax, Supergrass, Agent Orange, Backacker, Leg Over, Bean Counter and Pure Genius were then welcomed in and given visitors’ down-downs. Sadly Pushover from Worthy Winchester had to leave before the circle so missed her delicious Norfolk ……
Enter the RA Bumhead.
Down-downs:
Riff Raff for only half going into the sea. The front half that is:- Moist One .
Backacker for something to do with drinking too much (I can’t read my writing) but don’t all hashers do that.
TC for a Mobile in the circle and also for being invisible (a) on the r*n. He wasn’t seen but claims to have been there. (b) In the pub when he couldn’t get served. (for those who don’t know him he is over 6ft tall (Tall Chap).
ON ON
Hugonaut.

Run No. 1432
Monday May 16th 2011
Kings Head Hotel
East Dereham
On a cloudy cool evening with the threat of rain,approximately 16 brave souls who had ventured into the wilds of Norfolk( okay East Dereham!) set off from the Kings Head on our 1432'nd Hash.
But let me digress a moment as I feel big thank you's are needed.Firstly to all the gorgeous Hash House Harriets who did the Club proud at the Cancer UK Run For Life on Saturday,well done to you all.And Secondly to Leprechaun ( yes Wendy that is how you spell it!) for hosting a great Eurovision Song Contest bash at her home on Saturday night,a good time had by all.
So back to the run,woods,woods,more woods,nettles,smelly farm,more woods,more bloody nettles, ouch !low branches ( all missed by Leprechaun) and yet more woods! eventually some road and then the pub, good run set by Woolly and Bagpuss.Although there was a distinct lack of checks which Woolly claimed was because on Sunday ,dogs ate the flour! Who would have thought that on a Sunday afternoon,Woolly would be about helping the locals with their dogging pursuits?!
So onto the pub where after a somewhat meagre repast ( who scoffed all the chips!)  a quick circle took place.
Down downs were willingly quaffed by the Hare's as well as Riff Raff on becoming a Grandmother and thanks to the Harriets,apologies to those I have forgot but it did start to rain.
All in all another good Hash
On On Clan Bare

Run no:1431
Monday 9th May 2011
The Beehive
Lovely sunny evening setting off onto A11 heading up towards Eaton. Returning to Norwich over the ring road, through an estate. Down millionaires row passed the hares flat, but no beer stop. Several hashers seen hovering at the drive way in hope. On to The Avenues having been harassed by a group of feral kids. Then to Earlham Park/UEA. At the UEA lake asked if we were hashers. Apparently someones father was one for twenty five years at Epping. On through to Eaton Park over South Park Avenue, through an ally way and back to the pub. All in all a very enjoyable run thanks to the hares: Yogi and Bobbin.
Amongst the several down downs:
A virgin hasher via TC
Bum Head x2 Once for tankered abuse.
Firm Butt (with the above for phones on the hash)
Not Yeti who then became hash shit for being disobedient to the RA!
Shunt for something.
Not Yeti

April 24th 2011 Run no. 1428
The Green Dragon, Bungay.

The St. Georges day run was set by two experienced Hares, Shunt and Basset.  A good turn out on yet another sunny weekend with hashers wearing red and white clothing except Twonk who was wearing a blue t-shirt.

A good scenic run of about six miles or four if you were on the short trail, with many hills, yes this was a Norfolk run. 

Cattle, streams, the smell of rape from those yellow fields, the drips of sweat from the front runners, the high pitched sound of Hugo's horn, this run had it all.
 
We returned to the brewery pub for refreshments, chip butties, a raffle with left over prizes from our Christmas do from which Shunt got a handbag and Yogi a pair of slippers!  An auction of No names unwanted prize was won by Hugo at a mere £8 for a whisky gift pack.

Downs downs dished out to the Hares, Dexter and Jules for visiting from Meri Meri in Borneo, Basett for recycling an unwanted gift and leaving the evidence in the bag plus a photo, Bagman for lost property of his colourful Thai hat, Yogi for not wearing the giant wadders. There were others like Twonk who also got one, but memory starting to fade now.

Enough of this twaddle
On On, Woolly Jumper

 

Run no.1428
April 17th 2011

Water Festival – Hash Trash
The venue was Squit’s House in Thorpe; the Hash were armed with water pistols & blasters to help celebrate the Thai Water Festival and butts of water had been laid on as ammunition. The result....complete and other mayhem, the GM slipped on a wet floor pursuing Twonk and went down like a ton of bricks. Nothing broken but his pride and a few bruises.
The On On trail went through the Thorpe Cemetery and in a circuitous route through Thorpe via a few false trails in the numerous old quarry workings thereabouts.
A well timed beer stop was arranged in a relatives garden complete with beer, prawn crackers and water......lots & lots of water so the fun started again with Bagman drenching all & sundry with his ‘blaster’ especially Bobbin!
The On In was through Thorpe forest and back to Squit’s where a Thai Curry had been laid on with liquid refreshment.
The circle was wet, Bumhead brought a set of fireman’s waterproof trousers for testing and the Hash Shit....Yogi ended up in them and filled to his waist with water on the inside! Any Hashers who were remotely drying out were doused by Squits and his watering can!
Thank goodness it was a warm & sunny Hash.
Wooly was awarded a waistcoat to mark him completing 1200 runs!
On On
Lobotomy

 

Run no.1427
April 10th 2011

The Hash. The hares were Gary No Name.Doggie Fashion,Clingon & 4 Hounds. The venue was The Crown PH at Catfield.This was a milestone for No Name as it commerated 47 years of hashing, I think his first run was from the Ark on the mount of olives. It was a good run,almost to How Hill,over the marshes past the church,very handy for the RA and back via the looney bin.On the way Flash blanked out the Wate of Wateringpiece Lane,very hashrude.
The circle DD,s All the hares,Mosque Flasher for asking what a Ringpiece was,a new member,nice bum who does not drink alcohol AAAAAAAAAH.After two sips of a pint of water Twonk (was) volunteered to drink the rest which provoked a super hissey fit from Unmentionable
Lym for breaking the trash nippers. Cannot remember who else.The food afterwards was superb,thank you landlord.
Thats all Anonymous Hasher.

 

Run no 1426 no notes.
 

Run no.1425
March 27th 2011
Hockering Run By Count.V.C

I was given the task of Hash Trash for this run and given a small instrument that resembled a grapple that could be fun if used for all kinds of things like giving a few bottoms a “nip” so I tested it on Lucky Linder’s horn giving it a hard squeeze, only to break the instrument completely. I was then informed that the grapple was for picking up litter on the trail. Thinking I would get down down for my actions I said it could be repaired and I would pick up the trash by hand.

The Run

Count had informed the Hash that the trail would cross the A 47 not once but twice. We all gasped who would be in their right mind to cross the Trans Norfolk High Way this many times and it could, definitely cause multiple pile ups, from Kings Lynn to Great Yarmouth. News from Radio Beach claimed that emergency services were still clearing wreckage from the Acle Straight on Monday morning in both directions due to our actions at Hockring and police said, should the Hash be held responsible for this incident caused by the domino effect that reverberated along the highway for many hours afterwards.
Count do’s not understand signs that say “Keep Out” “Strictly Private” “Danger Rifle Range” “Active Runway” “Private Woodland” etc. Yes he laid the trail through the lot, being German these signs like these do not mean anything to him. Bum Head got so scared after being confronted by Farmer Palmer with his tractor mounted 18 barrel revolving 8 bore Shot Gun shouting git arf moi laarnd you baarrstarrds you be worrying moi sheep, he made many apologies to Farmer Palmer and said he was a religious advisor and made a hasty retreat to the church yard reciting that the people of Hockering cannot be buried in the church yard because the people of Hockering are still alive, typical of a religious advisor but Farmer Palmer was still not amused. Squits said, he was the Squire of Thorpe, shaking his stick toward Farmer Palmers “Pasture Blaster Armour” and said, the best we can do is retreat and go back to the pub and hide just in case we upset someone else. 
Back at the pub we waited for the rest of the battle weary Hashers to return.

Back at the Pub

We were made welcome by the Landlord who provided us with tons of chips and piles of buttered bread rolls beside a roaring log fire well it certainly was before we had finished. 

Down Downs

For the Hare, CVC and a second for trying to leave early for a Birthday do that occurred two weeks ago. His second down down went down the RA, oh! a Heinous Act of defiance 

Twonk was awarded a three pint down down of water with a hint of vinegar and salt and nearly reversed his guts.

Our new comer just for being our new comer.

Bag Puss received a beer monsters special

On On LYM

 

Run no.1424 Trash awaited from Cheese & Onion

 

Run 1423
Sunday 13 March 2011
The Black Lion
Buxton with Lammas

Well, it was the 13th, albeit not a Friday. Unlucky for some. Well, me actually. I arrived at the Hash to be presented with a small bag and one-of-those-sticks-that-you-use-to-pick-up-litter-with-with-a-little-grabby-hand-thingy-on-the-end type of affairs, and was told that I’d been officially designated Hash Trash (on account of always moaning about the amount of litter literally littering in no little way our beautiful countryside). Alas the bag was full within only a few hundred yards, so I completed the run looking like the Bagman of Buxton.

Dodo was a live hare, and for something that’s extinct he did a remarkably good job of setting the trail, aided and abetted by “Lob it to me” (or whatever his name is), who was being ”rare (sic) hare”. Although he was mostly “middle hare”. However, in spite of the efforts of those heretofore mentioned fellows, I still managed to lose the trail (mainly due to being unable to correctly read the flour at a check) and made my way back to the pub by an unmarked, but nonetheless expedient route... Followed by other notable hashers who either a: couldn’t read the trail properly, like me, or b: had enough local knowledge to realise that this was the quickest way back to the pub. Those of us who were “taken up the wrong ‘un” (trailwise, that is) were supping beer long before the remaining hapless hashers who were on trail and finally made it back to the pub a good two hours after setting out. Mwahahahahahahaaa!

Anyway, a good run, nice weather, nice views, nice length (Oooh, Matron!) and slightly more litter-free than at 11 a.m. that morning.

The circle. Er, stuff happened, but I can’t remember what. Er... We talked about getting a float for the Lord Mayor’s Obsession in July, some people got birthday down-downs, ummmm, er, and there was some other stuff. Ummm, after that we hot-footed it back indoors for some excellent sarnies and chips. There was even one sarnie left at the end. Unheard of! It sat there, unhindered, for a good ten minutes before Hugo couldn’t take the strain anymore and scarfed it down in less time than it takes LYM to down a pint.

In spite of being in Buxton I don’t think any of us saw any Llamas.

On On!

Flash

 

Sunday 6th March 2011
Lord Roseberry
Roseberry Road
Norwich

Following Mosque Flasher's party the night before, the hangover run of about four miles meandered a while around local streets before reaching Catton Park, which was rather pleasant.

  Slum dog pennyless area was next before returning to a very welcoming Victorian style pub, whose landlady provided us with sandwiches and a decent selection of beers. So enjoyable some hashers were still there at gone 4pm.

Good circle, newcommers Clan Bare and Chris were welcommed by G.M. with a down down each. Mosque awarded as Hare.

The R.A. recogonised Lym as now being retired. Yogi was  thanked for bringing lots of cider to the party.  Lucky for not paying attention, and crashing her car. Amongst others Bobbin, Mosque were issued with down downs.
 
Woolly Jumper.


 

Sunday 28th November
Roman camp,Caistor St Edmunds. Then Royal Oak, Poringland for drinks.
Run no 1408.


Whilst a good contingent of the NH3 were on the Hard bastards camp out in Derbyshire copping with -10 degrees, one had to commend Lobotomy for his devotion at setting his trail three times despite the snowfalls.

A bit of first aid assistance  was given to a fellow runner from Wymondham joggers who had wrung her ankle badly. Bum Head  and Firm Butt being the kind types, got her into their warm car and got her leg over the dashboard, while hubby ran back a mile to get his car.

So around the Roman camp we went and across to the old burial mound, all in all a good six mile run of undulating cuntryside.
 
A good buffet was provided by Lobotomy, totally stuffed exclaimed some hashers.
 
Then Down downs  were performed at The Royal Oak, with Lobotomy bareing his chest to  receive his first of three, only to be pelted with snow balls.  I got a half for  spelling Lobotomy incorrectly ie.  Labiabotomy or something like that. Bagpuss & Nicky were given one for being Birthday girls.

W.J.

 

Sunday 21st November
The Mariners Gt.Yarmouth
Run no 1407

Most of the Hash took the train from Norwich meeting at 10:30 at the Station.

On arrival at Great Yarmouth Yogi & Sue had kindly laid a trail to the Mariners' pub....did they think we would be too pissed
to find it that early in the morning?

The On On was called and we took a meandering route to the beach via alleyways, roads and old city walls.....pity the trail
went through the cemetery gates which were locked!!

On to the beach and the Britannia Pier and then On Inn via the Red Herring Public House for some well earned refreshment.

We arrived back to the Mariners where the publican had laid on a nice table of fare for his regular crowd......this was instantly
demolished by the assembled ravenous Hash.

All in all a good Hash Awayday!

Punishments

Dodo - Denying the GM his pate of choice by eating a wedge of it!

Count - Taking Twonk's Hash fleece complete with car keys!

Yogi - Cemetery gates locked, had to reroute the trail!

Spooky ( Tracey) - For not wanting to run in the rain!

Shunt - Hash Guy Fawkes, tried to blow up the Hash on November 5th!

On On

Lobotomy
 

Run no.1405
Rememberance Sunday 14/11/2010
The Kings Head
Woodton

 Some previous runs have not been reported,  but this one is worthy of putting pen to paper so to speak.

A two minute silence was duly observed by all at 11am and then we set orf.

Bagpuss and I set this the previous day, with so much  shiggy and with me nearly loosing my shoe in the mud I felt it was only fair to warn fellow hashers of the conditions. I think they thought I was exaggerating a bit, but they were soon to find this wasn't the case as hashers tried in vain to avoid the mud but failing miserably, arriving back at the pub looking like they that had been in the Battle of the Somme.

Twas a long run of about six miles with the first farm tracks flour trail totally sabotaged. Knitting circle were wise to take my advice to do a lot shorter trail
hence avoiding the mud.
 
Sausages and chips were consumed and then out for the circle.

A Surprise for me in the circle as i was awarded a framed print of a 200 year old map of Norfolk for setting 150 Hash trails for Norfolk H3. Gratefully appreciated!
 
Other down downs followed, then back we went inside for more beer. 

On On, Woolskins
(W.J.)
 

Run no 1402
Sunday 17th October
Kings Head,
Hethersett.

Well, numbers looked a little thin at about 11.15am as the pack of about 12 was given run marking “information” by Ballbuster.; but just as we were leaving Mosque Flasher arrived and then Basset with Aimee. At about this time too the sun peeped through and for some while took the autumnal chill off the day. Ballbuster had clearly ordered a small sample of what he and his family will just have to get used to in The Antipodes – poor sods.

The main run itself was apparently some 6 miles and the short cut 4 miles and both followed grassy paths in the main. Check points were well-marked; in fact “two” well-marked in a couple of places and, in one, even “three” well-marked. At this particular point poor Lobotomy ran from one to the other in circles and was in danger of disappearing up his own fundament; well better his than someone else’s!

Eventually, as is our wont, all arrived back at the pub to find that our hash numbers had increased substantially as non-runners and those with “better things to do” earlier turned up.

There followed a wonderful repast of not only chips and buttered bread, but chicken goujons (don’t ask!), sausage rolls, battered mushrooms (ah, poor things), and little samosa-like things. Jenny and Katie did their best to demolish the platters of chips but had to admit defeat and even Mosque Flasher was below par.

ON-ON to the circle.
First it was the GM’S turn with, of course, recognition for our worthy hares, Ballbuster and Annie. Annie was in fine form and beat hubby in draining the glass. Clearly in training for the “tinnies” to come.
It turned out that we had two visitors from OZ , friends of the hares, so they were welcomed in the time-honoured fashion; again the lady swallowed well. Next up was a naming. Bagman had been tipped the wink that Matt, who hasn’t run since his first appearance at the last Monday run, was a helicopter pilot. So, there it was - he was baptised “Chopper”. That will do him no harm in the crumpet stakes, as if being a bloody pilot wasn’t enough.

Then it was the turn of our stand-in RA, Lobotomy.
Needless to say his first task was to admonish the person who almost caused him permanent damage, Ballbuster.
There followed the matter of the lost company keys, which Porky (a seasoned hasher who should have more sense) had let slip in the pub.
Next up was our celebrity, Bagpuss. This hasher’s piccie had appeared in the local press. Apparently she was among the first intake for a catering course at Norwich City College (whisper it!) 50 years ago!

Finally it was Benito. Seemingly she had tried to get a head start for next week’s run (as if she needs one) by going to Elsing before finding her way to Hethersett!!

Then it was back into the pub and Hash Flash (moi!) decided it would be good to get a “grope” photo of NH3 with the Cowan clan. Unfortunately the silly a*** had forgotten his camera and had to elicit help from a certain Hasherdabber and Sue ( Bonketty Bonk) shot back to the car to get hers. After deleting several compromising pics of her and Yogi (shame!) said item was handed over to me who was then elbowed out by another pub patron when trying to get the throng within shot so ended up in the photos, thus wrecking them.

Finally, although everybody at the run and those who could not make it had expressed every good wish to our departing hashers, Mike, Annie, Andrew and James, it is appropriate to echo those good wishes in this report!!
ENJOY WAGGLING YOUR DAGS DOWN UNDER, YOU LOT.

Shunt.

Run no. 1401
Sunday 10th October
Marriotts Way car park, Lenwade. Then The Bridge P.H.
Hares: Lucky and Basset.


After a great Saturday night at the medieval do at the Tuns, Bungay, surprisingly a fair number turned up.

Nearly had to get out the sun tan cream, so warm, and not a cloud in the sky, ideal for the four mile run.

Good run, stingers and swamp before finishing off on the disused railway line then back to the pub for chips and chocolates.

Down downs were awarded to the Hares

A deserved thank you to Yogi and Bobbin for organising the previous night.

The circle included a raffle  and the return of the Hashshit which was duly awarded by R.A. Riff Raff to Twonk for three sins.

Mosque, Bobbin and Yogi were brought into the middle and were asked to shout
out when they thought a minute had elapsed. This was to do with their timekeeping regarding getting to the Hash.  Bobbin won, but they all got downed anyway. 

On On , The Woollyest of pullovers
 

Run no. 1400
Sunday 3rd October
The Lion at Thurne  
Hares: Woolly and Bagpuss

It was a warm Autumn day for our return to the birth place of the Norfolk Hash to enjoy the 1400th run. A different route this time too. Fooling Myself and CVC. Four miles being the answer in Woolly's quiz to the question on the actually distance. So it might have been without our two mile excursion.

Everyone back to the pub for some nostalgic memories, sharing of the 'family' albums and a new photo-shoot to preserve records for future generations. How young we appeared in those historic images. Some nubile and pert. Others had hair and some sported darker beards and mullets. No, this wasn't fancy dress. I'll leave you to speculate on gender specifics.

The circle brought acknowledgement for three Hashers amassing a collective 2,000 runs. It was Bumhead, who managed to stagger around 300 and Shunt, who (allegedly) heard "On-On" called on 500 of them. But both were clearly upstaged by Porky with an amazing tally of 1,200 runs. He received, in acknowledgement, a very smart waistcoat, produce by our very own Hash Haberdasher Bobbin. The other two were awarded their respective mugs and can expect to look forward to their waistcoats at some future distant date.

Down-downs were awarded to the sinners before the circle was adjourned and most of us tucked into a very fine carvery in the restaurant. The quiz prizes were awarded with Yogi protesting and claiming that he'd actually answered more questions correctly than there were actually questions on the quiz sheet. He should therefore be declared The Winner!.

Next weeks run is around a car park somewhere in Lenwade.

On-On,
Bagman

Run no 1399
Sunday 26th September
The Reedcutter, Cantley
Hares: Wimpey and Mumbles

A good turn out for the first Sunday in the autumn period .
The trail started  along the river bank and soon Woolly and Basset were fooled at the first check , going for the usual trail from previous Hashes.

A good Hash, set by experienced Wimpy and Mumbles, they even co-incided the run with a sailing Regatta  so the pub had Beer at £ 2.50 a pint !

Mosque Flasher did  a fine job as Grand Mattress awarding the Hares etc.

Then the mystery R.A., Riff Raff did her bit, awarding Hugo a down down for his protrusion hanging out of his new shorts.
The rest,  I can't remember as it was two weeks a go, and as no other -ugger voluntered to do the Trash I had a whim to do it well after the event. 

On On . Woolly Jumper

Run no 1398
Monday 20th September 2010
The Cottage. Thorpe St. Andrew.
Hare: Shunt, ( for the second week in sucession ! )


This was the last  Monday night run for this year, and a good turn out was evident, hashers all rearing to go with  torches in hand.

Shunt's announced that the Chef, who had previously cooked at our Christmas Meal had passed away and that there was a wake on, which accounted for the full car park. 

Good run through woods and a recreation ground then back to the pub for chip butties  and beer.

Down downs were awarded by the G.M. to the Hare, newcommer Matt,and Birthday girl Tina Allen.

Dodo officiated as R.A. and dished out so many down downs  I can't remember who got done, and for what. Maybe I need some more memory paste. If anyone can fill me in, I can edit this utter Trash.

Woolly Jumper.

Run no 1397 

Monday 13th September.

Angel Gardens.

Hare: Shunt.

Well we set off in fine fettle all set for a lovely run round Waterloo Park. The rain was just stopping so all was good, but Quelle Domage! We met the Parky. He was closing the park early, I forget why. Something to do with someone stealing the notice board that tells you when the park shuts. (never let the truth etc.) Anyway our quick thinking Hare went to plan B and we still had a lovely run going along by the river through dark trees. Some of our number of course have all sorts of strange fetishes, for instance Sven enjoyed stamping in a puddle and making his crotch all wet. Some people like getting lost, so that they have to go in the Iron Duke to ask directions. Some people enjoy celebrations and hope for presentations. I don’t know how long they have to keep on hoping. Some people just like making up their own run or doing it backwards. Well everyone enjoyed the chips and deep fried roast potatoes. Here’s looking forward to the next fun packed run.
From your secret correspondent. 

Run No. 1396

The Goat, Skeyton

Hare; Mosque Flasher

A good turnout started by running around in all directions until the trail was found. The Hare warned us that there would be a lot of road and s*e was right; however one footpath led us to a school which seemed to be in the middle of nowhere. Mind you some people think that Swanton Abbott is nowhere. After that, more road until another footpath (it’s getting dark by now) led us through fields full of equine and bovine hazards. Happily no-one was eaten (vegetarian beasts) nor were they trampled or gored.
All returned for ample beer and chips.

The circle was conducted by G.M. Mosque Flasher who awarded herself a down-down as Hare. Down-downs were awarded to Virgin Hasher Alison, a friend of Mosque Flasher.
Bumhead for 300 alleged runs, I think today may have been one of his shortest returning to the pub after about the second tree.

The mystery R.A. took over, many thought it was me as I had a pen and notepad. No it was Porky.
Down-downs were awarded to:
Count Von Count for being a Headline Grabber for yet another appearance in the media, the EDP this time.
Tracey for being a Deserter. Apparently her husband has been away in Canada for many months, weeks, days and as soon as he returns she is off to some exotic European city without him.
Bumhead, for some reason which escaped me. His down-down had added flavour from a strawberry, chilli or what appeared to me berries from an arum lily (very poisonous). It was dark

On On

Hugonaut

Felbrigg Hall - 30th August 2010
Run no. 1395
Hare: Dodo 

The Red Lion, Coltishall - 23rd August 2010
Run no. 1394.

Hares: Not Yeti  and Eli-phantom

It was not surprising that after the heavy rain earlier the attendance was low, only eleven
hashers! Yet again our hares had all their flour trail washed out, necessitating a bit of live flour laying as they went.

A pretty run taking us around Horstead Mill and yes, just to please me, along a disused railway line,then back via St.James
 
Near the ON INN we were told by a foreign woman with her diabetic dog, that we shouldn't be running on this footpath. She was duly ignored and we carried on back to the pub.
 
Lucky was not so lucky when she closed her car boot and realised she had locked herself out, the keys in full view, inside on the parcel shelf.

Sven being there at the time kindly offered to take Lucky home, where she said she had a spare car key. Unfortunately  the key could not be found as she realised that she had lost it previously at Bobs, whoops!

So they came back to the pub. and Sven contacted a vehicle rescue service. Two hours later, and much laughing at Linda's expense she got into her car with a sigh of relief.

Hash Elder (Porky) was acting G.M. and R.A.aswell, was this anything to do with him wearing new shoes?

DOWN DOWNS:
The Hares
Lucky  for being Unlucky with her car key 
Lucky again, this time for being Lucky as she managed to find her house key.
Sven for "The Knight in Shining Armour" coming to Lucky's aid. Well done mate.

Scribe: Woolly Jumper.



 

The Cellar House, Cringleford - 15th November 2009 - Run No.1352

 

 

 

                 

Hair Memorial Run – Black T-Shirt run to remember our friend Ken Snell

Hares: Bagman & Beetroot.

A large crowd gathered in the car park, all wearing black t-shirts found in attics & in the back of drawers for the occasion.

Porky said a few well chosen words describing Hair as the life & soul of the party, including a story concerning Ken gate crashing a hen party & ending up being invited to the wedding the next day.

We set off to the traffic lights, where some tried right & left, before it was discovered that the trail went straight on.

We ran through Cringleford all the way to Earlham road, & the pack was kept together by numerous checks. We came back via Earlham Park, & past the university before running next to the river along a path made almost entirely out of shaggy.

All were back within 2 hours after a long but well laid trail.

The pub laid on a buffet & refused to accept any cash as Ken was a regular.

The Circle

The circle was started by Dodo (Hash Master) who gave out the down downs as follows:

* The hares – Bagman & Beetroot
* Cheese & Onion – 300 runs – mug presented


Mr Bossy (Religious Advisor) continued with:

* New shoes
o Sniffer
o Hugo
o Riff Raff (new shoes in wardrobe)
o Bum Head (talking in the circle)
o Jo – Hash virgin
o Shunt
* Sven – hats & talking in the circle
* Cheese & Onion – shout cutting
* Bagman – running with young girls
* Cheese & Onion – misinformation
* Benito – going to wrong pub
* Squits – lost last week

Mr Bossy then proposed a toast to absent friends, describing Hair as a great guy, loved by all.

The hash hymn was then sung, led by Squits with appropriate actions.

Group photos were taken by Woolly & Baa Baa 

Scribe - Ballbuster